NBC, I Thought I Knew Ye…

To My Beloved National Broadcasting Company,

*sigh* In the past two days, I feel as though you have said “____ it” in regards to your 2012 London Olympics coverage (I’ll leave that blank open for interpretation). Here are some reasons why:

  • You are showing everything on a delay. I think this has pretty much been established on Twitter, especially today.
  • The gold-medal events featuring the U.S. (wrestling, track and field, volleyball, etc.) have been superseded by field hockey, handball, and racewalking. RACEWALKING?! And rhythmic gymnastics, of course. Oh, and how could I forget synchronized swimming? You might as well ask me, “Which bullet would you like me to kill you with?” At least be that courteous.
  • You have yanked your coverage of boxing because YOU were distracting ringside officials from doing their job. Apparently, also because there were no more U.S. competitors? How selfish. You’ve always been so giving…
  • They’ve let Mexico win gold in men’s soccer. I don’t know who else to blame.
  • They’ve created soft-porn videos of female Olympic athletes to circulate around the Internet, yet they quickly zoom in to head shots every time they cover track and beach volleyball. Forgive me for wanting to admire a lovely athletic build; it’s not like they walk around the block routinely where I live…

*double sigh* My friends, these things should not be. Such a grand Olympiad should not end in such a sad way. I’m incensed and disgusted.

The most disappointing aspect of NBC’s shortcomings to end this fortnight is… well, I just thought we were better than this, you know? I’ve faithfully watched your programming–remember Quantum Leap? Nastia Liukin is probably ashamed of you right now.  Then again, she did look good in tights.

Brennon Keys is a former sports writer for the Pine Bluff Commericial. When he isn’t busy pulling his hair out, he works as a freelancer in St. Louis, Missouri.